What is Anguish?

“Man is always separated from what he is by all the breadth of the being which he is not. He makes himself known to himself from the other side of the world and he looks from the horizon toward himself to recover his inner being.”

Imagine one morning you jolt awake in a cold sweat. You try to remember the dream you were having, but the images are gone. You scour your mind for them, but instead of dreams you unearth a nagging thought. Nausea crashes against you like a wave. Your body tenses. You jump out of bed, you get dressed, and you go to work.

You clock in. Here, it is pleasant. No nagging thoughts. Every conversation, every look, every debate about the world conveniently occurs against the backdrop of this place that you call “work”. There amidst the others you lose yourself. Until you clock out.

At home you mill about idling as the evening passes. Eventually, unavoidably, you undress and slip into bed. Yet there in the silence under the covers as if waiting for you since morning, the nagging thought returns.

Who are you?

Who are you?

‍ Who are you?

You are afraid. The fabric of time ripples across your skin like a jagged edge. You realize you are afraid, which only increases your fear. Anguish creeps across your mind and burrows underneath your skin. You try to dream. You try to forget.

Your eyes close tightly. Eventually, your mind drifts. At last, you dream.

The next morning you jolt awake in a cold sweat. You try to remember what it is you dreamt, but the images are gone.

“It is certain that we cannot escape anguish, for we are anguish.”

Inspired by Jean-Paul Sartre

Written by Catherine Grace

With research by Victoria Venturella and Anthony Greenaway

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